OWN WHO YOU ARE
You’ve spent all your life running from the truth of who you really are. All of your life blaming others for your mistakes. All of your life hating others because you hate yourself. All of your life jealous of others’ blessings because you won’t stop to recognize your own. Are you tired, yet? When will you get sick of yourself? When will you surrender? Do you have plan to surrender? Whether you choose to or not, the time will come, if it hasn’t already, when you can no longer blame others and sit in your sorrow that you’ve carefully painted as strength.
This is not a letter to break you down. It is most definitely a letter meant to build you up. You been labeled far too many times. Hater, stupid, ignorant, angry, temperamental, bitter . . . and the list goes on. You put on a tough exterior for everyone, pretending that those names don’t bother you. But, when no ones looking; when you’re all alone surrounded by your four walls before you go to bed at night, those very labels bring you great pain. The pain comes from knowing that at one point you were okay. But then that changed. And, now you run from it because it hurts too bad. It’s easier for you to point fingers than to look at where the real work needs to happen. Look in the mirror – that’s where the healing needs to begin. You can scream and shout and blame people and try to intimidate people, you can continue to make everybody responsible for the problems that you’ve started, but you’ll only dig yourself deeper and deeper into your pain. The pain that those around you continue to mistaken for strength.
Let’s talk about some of the things you’ve been labeled. Let’s start with HATER. People call you that not knowing that it’s not them you’re hating. It’s yourself. You don’t like who you are. You hate who you’ve become. Instead of working on yourself so that you can love you, you find it easier just to call others what you truly feel about yourself. Every name you call is an emotional projection of how you feel inside. Good news: you can do the work to grow to love who you are as a person. You don’t have to walk around hurting others because you’re hurting. It takes courage and I believe in you.
STUPID: What a degrading name, right? How could anyone call you that? You’re not stupid at all. You just keep falling short of your fullest potential. That’s okay, too. We all do at times. You have to own it though. What you’ll realize is that once you own the truth of who you are, you’ll feel a lot more free to continue to grow. You’ll also realize that you won’t get as angry at others for growing. Perhaps you get upset because you see others now doing what you currently don’t feel like you have the strength to do. Good news: You DO have the strength. It starts by owning who you are. Stop standing in your own way.
IGNORANT: You know . . . this word is SO misunderstood. It doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re stupid. It could just mean that you’re lacking knowledge on something. I agree that we should all be sure to say this word in the correct manner. But, no . . . you have more understanding about who you are than some may realize.
ANGRY/BITTER: You’re not as angry as people think you are. As a matter of fact, you may not be angry at all. That mask you’re wearing is pain. You’re hurting and you don’t quite feel that you can stand in the truth of who you truly are, so instead of saying you’re broken; instead of saying you need help and healing; instead of working on what’s paining you, you rather just walk around like you’re mad. But, truth is: anger is just sadness’ costume. Good news! You can throw the costume away. Let sadness show its face. The ones who truly love you will be right there giving you a shoulder to cry on in the midst of your healing.
TEMPERAMENTAL: Hmm . . . I’m not sure how the dictionary defines this word exactly, but what I do know is that if you break this word apart, leaving the “a” out – you have TEMPER and MENTAL. Yes. Mentally, you’re holding on to something that made you mad, something that hurt you. At some point you didn’t feel heard, you didn’t feel seen. And now your sudden rise of emotions has become the poster child for that situation. Your lack of patience may show that you aren’t healed all the way from something. Good news! This doesn’t mean you’re a bad person. What it means is that you need to acknowledge to yourself what’s bothering you. Then deal with it. Your patience will be sure to follow.
None of these things make you a bad person. However, you must stop blaming others for the wrong that you’ve done. You know the truth. You know when you’ve done wrong even when you don’t admit it. And, each time you accuse someone for what you’ve done, you eat at your own soul. I’m sure you want better for yourself. You can get better and become a person who people genuinely enjoy being around. Can I tell you something? No matter how much respect you think your demanding, if I had to guess . . . probably the majority of the people around you really don’t have much respect for you. And, when you’re not around they probably say how the truly feel to those whom they genuinely respect. When you stand in the truth of who you really are and NOT at other people’s expense – the right people will naturally respect you. Demanding wouldn’t be necessary. There are moments where you have to speak up and clear some misunderstandings between you and others whom may need to be reminded. If they truly value who you are as a person- the respect will be there after all. So, be sure you’re not walking around thinking you have the respect of many when you may not have the respect of none. And, always remember those who truly love you will not watch you demean yourself in the process of trying to demean others. They’ll always be by your side, but not just saying “yes” and agreeing to everything that you do. They’ll have your back . . . meaning they will help you be a better you and you can in turn be that same support for them.
May we ALL be sure to own who we are!